FFTs

I’m not sure if Brene Brown realizes how timely the launch of her podcast was going to end up being but Lord is it helping me get through some big feelings in the past 24 hours. Her first episode talks all about how so many of us end up feeling when we find ourselves in a first time situation. We’re all currently in a first time situation (unless any of y’all reading this have been a part of a global pandemic before?) and we’re all responding differently. I got a few emails (related to work and distance learning) in the last day or so that have sent me spiraling out of control mentally. I haven’t been sleeping well, I’ve been clenching my jaw and it’s killing me, and I’ve basically been on the verge of tears for much of the day. Having listened to Brene’s first episode, I finally reminded myself “Katie, you’re in an effing (censored) first time. Normalize it. Take perspective. Reality check” (those are the steps she explains in the episode). Having words to name big feelings and situations is very helpful to me. I still feel like crap right now but I know I’m for sure not alone. I still don’t know how in the world I’m going to be a part of all of the virtual meetings I’m supposed to be on next week while also parenting my own children simultaneously (excessive screen time turns them into monsters so that’s not going to work for us). I know we’re all doing the best we can and I know people who are making decisions are doing they best they can AND I can also feel my feelings. I’d gotten so good at compartmentalizing my work and home life so that I could feel successful in both places and now that they’re all mushed together I am having a hard time seeing a path forward. I know it’s there. I just can’t see it, yet.

Thank you for reading my tear-filled vent post.

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